Series: Find You in The Dark #1
Published by Gallery Books
Publication Date: January 10th, 2014
Genres: New Adult
Experience New York Times bestselling author A. Meredith Walters’s heart-wrenching story about the all-consuming power of first love.
Maggie Young had the market on normal. Normal friends, normal parents, normal grades…normal life. Until him.
Clayton Reed was running from his past and an army of personal demons that threatened to take him down. He never thought he had a chance at happiness. Until her.
Maggie thought their love could overcome anything. Clay thought she was all he needed to fix his messy life. That together, they could face the world. But the darkness is always waiting. Sometimes the greatest obstacle to true love is within yourself.
There once was a girl that thought she had it all. Good grades. Amazing friends. Supportive parents. Her life felt complete.
And then she met a boy.
When girl first meets boy, he is stand-offish, hostile, and cold. But the girl still persists.
There is a sadness about him that girl wants to fix. His smile never reaches his eyes. He looks scared. He looks lost. Girl is determined to get under his skin the way boy has gotten under hers.
And then one day, the girl breaks through the boy’s shell.
And boy and girl fall in love.
Their love is tender. Passionate. Consuming.
“We existed in this symbiotic relationship where our hearts beat and our lungs breathed only for each other.”
Boy needs girl. She is the balm to his broken soul. Boy is extremely emotional and blows up over the smallest of things. Boy is fragile and cannot function without the girl.
The girl feels responsible for the boy’s moods. Girl becomes the protector. She cannot slay his demons, but she tries.
“And if he went into the dark again, this time I would be there to find him – to follow him. Because I thought, perhaps quite immeasurable that my love could help him. Maybe our love could even do more than just help – maybe it could heal him. Fix him. Fix everything.”
Girl blows off family, friends. and school because she is busy trying to save the boy from himself.
Girl doesn’t understand why nobody likes the boy. Boy is beautiful and kind and loves the girl so much.
“But I knew his love was an intense, hungry thing. I worried for a moment, as I fell asleep, that his love would eat me alive.”
The boy cannot be fixed by girl. Girl feels responsible. Girl feels like she failed boy.
Once upon a time, I was Maggie. And I fell in love with someone like Clay.
When I first picked up Find You in The Dark, I had no idea I would feel like a voyeur captured my life from the ages 14-17. I didn’t feel like I was reading a book. I felt like I was re-living my first love all over again.
No one warns you what happens when you fall in love. Nor do they warn you about what happens when you fall in love with someone with a mental illness.
Just like Maggie, I was consumed. The highs of our relationship were indescribable. It was passionate, and intense and no one understood what it felt to love like that. But when it was low, it was so low. I wouldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I became a shell of my former self. My parents forbid me from seeing him. He was ‘bad news’. I became defensive. I would defy my parents every chance I could. My friends resented me for blowing them off and using them to cover my lies. I became this person that could only exist if I had the love of the boy. Because my boy was hurting and only I could save him.
I remember the guilt and the shame I carried around when my boyfriend tried to kill his self. I was a failure. I had the love of this tender, gentle boy and I couldn’t fix him. The blame I placed on myself was so unbearable, I would pray for the earth to swallow me whole.
Find You in The Dark is the closest I have ever come to finding a story about me. It is beautiful and heartbreaking and terrifying.
As a reader, I always envision myself in the book I read. I dream of falling in love with the moody billionaire, or the promiscuous rock star. We all want to be ‘the one’ that changes everything. That heals everything.
But sometimes, you find love in the darkest of places. Sometimes trying to ‘heal’ someone only hurts them more. Does anyone envision themselves in that?
A. Meredith Walters managed to capture the truth behind what it’s like to love someone that needs saving. So many books show us that love is the cure, but in reality that is not the case. Sometimes the love becomes part of the problem.
Maggie and Clay are so realistic and honest. I fell in love with both of them equally. The intensity, desperation and depth of love between Maggie and Clay was so beautiful it hurt sometimes to read. If your looking to read a book that will give you butterflies, chills, tears and hope, Find You in The Dark was written for you.