Series: Songs of Submission #9
Published by Independently Published
Publication Date: March 18th, 2015
Also by this author: Spin, Ruin
Did you want a pat little ending about Jonathan and I riding off into the sunset? Did you want flowers and stars? Man, I wish it was all soft filters and violins. I wish we could fight about who cleaned the bathroom or who was cooking dinner. But I knew I was never destined for simple contentment.
I almost committed murder for him. I almost tore us apart to save him. How do you get back on the horse after that? Because, I promise you, nothing is the same. Nothing.
I’ve earned our happily ever after. Now I have to survive it.
“I missed two things. I missed my freedom, and I missed slavery.”
Obviously, this review will contain spoilers for previous books, so reader beware. It can go without saying that this has been one of my most anticipated books to come out this year. Where we left Monica and Jonathan in Sing things were as good as they could be. Jonathan had just had his transplant and was living but it’d be a lie to think it was a happily ever after. No, because you have the 10 year timeline for a heart transplant patient hanging over our heads, and yes, I include myself in this because the thought of Jonathan Drazen not living in 10 years (fictional or otherwise) is just blasphemous to me. So sure there was joy in his life but there is this ticking clock that follows Monica around day in, day out.
“You can’t leave me until I destroy you,” he said. “If you destroy me, I’ll never leave.”
It’s very real, the fear, in which Monica lives. Their lives have been drastically changed, in such a short time, and this is their new normal. But Jonathan refuses to be less of a man, a Dom, a husband, a King, to Monica. He is ever the cruel lover in Coda. I mean he is just on another level and his brand of love is what makes you fall for the two of them. Instead of focusing on this 10 year time bomb just hovering in the horizon, he forces you to stop and be in the now. But every good love story is good because of it’s pain, it’s suffering, it’s sorrow, and that is something Monica and Jonathan are no strangers to.
“This was our time. However long it was, it belonged to us.”
As much as I would love this story to be never-ending, it isn’t. The only true Happily Ever After for Monica and Jonathan would be if they became immortal and were blessed with the fortune of nothing bad ever happening to them. But that is not reality for Monica and Jonathan, these two incredibly amazing characters that are so real to me that I refuse to think differently. What CD Reiss gave us was better; hope.
FROM CODA (RATED NC-17)
“You know what, Monica, you don’t even know yourself. Look at you. I haven’t seen you this relaxed in months. The only time you let your worry go is when you give me control. And your worry is what keeps you from being honest.”
I swallowed. Blinked. A torrent of wetness welled behind my eyes, “I don’t want to break the scene.”
“Stay still. Stay naked. Speak your mind.”
“I almost died with you a hundred times. That recovery room, they had you in this induced coma and you looked dead. There were bags of blood. Bags, hanging over you and you were all opened up. And, I’m sorry, I haven’t said this because you’re the one who went through it.” I swallowed a gallon of tears. “I don’t want to see you like that again. But I think about it all the time. I dream about it. I see it when I close my eyes. I want you to live, so I do what I think is going to make you happy and I always get it wrong. Stay or go. I give you attention or none. It’s always wrong.”
“What about your happiness?”
“It doesn’t matter. Not as much as yours. It’s not life or death.”
“It is, Monica. It is.”
I shook my head. “You can’t convince me of that. We can do this hurtful honesty thing all day. You’re the priority and I’m okay with that. Deal with it.”
He nodded, looking down for a blink, then up at me. He reached for my wrists.
“These go behind your back.”
I did as instructed.
“Now, get on your knees.”
I bent them. With my hands behind my back, it was hard to balance.
“Do you need some help?” he asked.
I thought he’d take me gently by the elbow, but dragged me down. He was right. I was relaxed, totally submitting and trusting him, loving every bit of discomfort he dished out.
“Spread your knees apart.”
I did, too slowly for him. He kicked them wide.
“Do you remember your safeword?” He asked, unbuckling his belt.
“Yes.” A tingling rush went down my spine with the promise of his dominance and the way it made me forget how fragile he really was.
His cock was out in the next second. “Open. Your. Mouth.”